Kimberly Figures it Out

My word for 2025 is Peace.  I love New Year’s Resolutions and have set and taken them seriously most of my adult life. One year I committed to getting 10,000 steps a day and another I vowed to go back to school for my Master’s degree. Last year my best friend gave me the idea to sum up the year’s resolutions with a word. Choosing was hard but once I landed on “Invest” the list wrote itself and I have had so much fun investing in the last year both in the literal sense as well as in myself. Credit for this idea goes to Gretchen Rubin. One major investment was disengaging with all of my volunteer commitments which set me up to have time to reflect and make plans for myself.  Peace is all about the quest to quiet the nagging should haves of the past several years. Last year my word was “Invest” and I made great progress investing in myself. Through that journey I started working on this blog and noticed immediately that making my idea come to life left me feeling lighter and more...

On Christmas morning, I opened a small, light bag from my mother. Inside were family recipes I had requested. Immediately, seeing her handwriting, I began to cry. I quickly wiped my eyes and the festivities moved on. I had requested the recipe but forgot that I asked for them as my Christmas present and I didn’t expect to see the recipe for Turkey Artichoke Pie in the stack.  My grandmother, Dorothy Love, died in 2023. My heart still feels broken by her loss and though she told me herself she was ready to go and that I couldn’t really expect her to live forever, I did expect her to live forever and the world just isn’t the same without her in it. Last Christmas I couldn’t really bear doing all the traditions without her. I didn’t send Christmas cards because I didn’t want to see her name on the list and I didn’t put up a tree because I didn’t want to see the ornaments she had made for me and her great grandchildren over the years.  This year, I jumped back in but it felt lonel...

The topic of allowance comes up as kids get older. Among my friends, I know other moms give a weekly or monthly allotment, tie it to chores and those who skip it altogether. In our house, the kids each have spending money but it doesn't come from a set allowance. We celebrate Lunar New Year so they receive most of their spending money around the new year . We also allow them to cash out of any gift cards they receive if they prefer. As the middle school years came along, they each started taking their money with them to purchase small items like boba drinks and snacks from the local hardware store (that guy is really a business genius but that's another story). We buy them what they need and want whenever it comes up and and extras for birthdays and holidays. We do not give them an allowance. The reason for this goes back to when I worked in the office at a early education center. At the center, we had a late pick up policy in the handbook that allowed for charging fees for eac...

Last year I made a commitment to myself: be done with grinding for free for SFUSD. This promise was easier on paper than in reality and it took me 14 months to finish out all my commitments. Don’t get me wrong: I am proud of many things I accomplished as a heavily invested volunteer. However, the more involved I got, the more supportive I became, the more diminished the returns. Take my social life for instance. They say that these boards are a great way to meet people and they are but they are a great way to either intimidate or alienate most people. On one hand, people are really impressed about the commitment and they thank you for your time and energy you’re putting into the school. On the other hand, they roll their eyes when you invite them to a meeting or when they make a complaint while waiting for the morning drop off to finish and you respond with an educated and nuanced answer. Coffee invites don’t come frequently from that crowd.  Take my favorite example of this scenar...

I started this blog in my thoughts several years ago, brainstorming in the shower or walking around about things that I'd like to write that might be interesting to read for other people. I chickened out of publishing last year but now I've drawn the courage up to go for it and here I am. This year is my 39th and as I approach 40 I have been figuring out who I am and who I want to be in my next 39 years. These days my biggest identity is being a mama to my two middle schoolers. Currently 12 and 14, they have been keeping me busy and learning since they were born as they move into stage after stage of development and we navigate the world together as a family. 40 looms large doesn't it? I do not dream of being younger as I am far happier and healthier than I was in my 20s but there is a weight to 40. It's not insignificant. Case in point, I moved to San Francisco when I was 17. So, I have been living in the big city for 22 years. Twenty two! That's the kind of number...